petermorwood:
“ endisni:
“ bunjywunjy:
“ stele3:
“The witches have come to lay their claim.
”
a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge
”
Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast.
“Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and...

petermorwood:

endisni:

bunjywunjy:

stele3:

The witches have come to lay their claim.

a pair of mischievous goblins examine their new charge

Ebony and Tenebrous were aghast. 

“Did you hear what those fairies gave her? Beauty, grace and willingness to please? Bast’s tits, that’s a terrible thing to do to a kitten.“

Ten got up on her hind legs. “Never trust a flying thing that gives you a mouthful of glitter when you catch it. Come on, Eb, let’s give her our gifts.”

“Like half a shrew? I tried giving her that, her dam shouted at me.“

“Quite right too,“ said Ten wisely, “it’s got be at least four weeks before she can manage the skulls. That’ll be my gift then. May you always be able to manage skulls. Big ones, small ones, beaky ones, mousey ones, any sort of skull.“

Ebony copied her sister’s pose. “And may you always catch the flying things. Then you’ll never be hungry, and that’s much better than fairy wishes.”

***

Thirty years later, Alba was everyone’s favourite keeper at the zoo. Not only could she cure her colleagues’ headaches just by telling their skulls to give over, but she was the only person they’d ever know who could work alone in the emu enclosure…

If two black cats can’t outmatch the wishes of three pastel grannies, they aen’t trying hard enough.

Though making a cat try hard enough if it doesn’t want to is another matter entirely…

(Source: catscenter, via consumptive-sphinx)

badlotrimagines:

Imagine…

You are a normal woman living in Edoras, and Grima Wormtongue is in love with you. The only thing that keeps him from going completely evil and betraying Théoden to Saruman is his love for you. However, he’s kinda greasy and weird so you keep your distance, unwilling to actually date the man.

One day, you feel a distinct tingling on your face. You go to the palace doctor, who informs you that your eyebrows are infected and you’ll have to get an eyebrow transplant immediately. You’re scared, but you agree.

When you wake up, to your surprise, you have the most beautiful eyebrows you’ve ever seen. “Where’s Grima?” you find yourself saying. “I want to show him my new eyebrows.”

The doctor shakes his head at you. “Who do you think gave you the eyebrows?”

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(via bisexualturin)

punkfaery:

book legolas is pretty cool but film legolas reminds me of one of those incredibly beautiful, incredibly stupid long haired pedigree dogs that you sometimes see in grooming parlours having their claws painted purple. like you could just pick him up and look into his eyes and there would be nothing going on behind them. film legolas has the elvish version of elevator music playing in his head at all times and i honestly love it

(via bisexualturin)

heyamei:

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Y'all know what’s good

(Source: prackspoor)

hobbit-hole:

enders-game-of-scrabble:

“He [Sam] crawled back into the brambles and laid himself by Frodo’s side, and putting away all fear he cast himself into a deep untroubled sleep. They woke together, hand in hand.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

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(via fishfingersandscarves)

atvacuum:

bears-home:

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This idea would not leave my brain

is now a bad time to mention that noir’s uncle ben was canonly eaten by a cannibal in the comics

(via oddity-txt)

beautiful-basque-country:

no-passaran:

vaguelyconcernedtriangle:

left-reminders:

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I’d love to hear an explanation for how Jeff Bezoa is responsible for a housing crisis and the idea of homelessness.

@vaguelyconcernedtriangle Amazon has repeatedly forced cities to stop tax plans that would have taxed the big companies in order to put that money into eradicating homelessness. For example, Amazon is the main donor of the organization No Tax for Jobs (75% of their funds are donations from Amazon) which worked against the bill that would have put more than $20 million per year into social housing in the city of Seattle.

It’s also been noticed how Amazon puts their warehouses in working class neighbourhoods, and this makes the prices of the houses way higher. Plus it creates a lot of displacement, since it causes masses of people to come to an area, an area which usually wasn’t ready for such a fast population boom, causing problems in public services, roads/traffic, etc.

And just the fact that Amazon workers most certainly can’t afford a decent living with how little they get payed (after having such horrible working conditions). Many of these people wouldn’t need help if Amazon was paying them a decent wage. But oh, it’s more profitable to not pay them what they deserve, and just once every while make a donation to make yourself look good.

A one-time donation from an individual to the specific organizations that work in the cities of his choosing (by the way, they are the cities where Amazon plans to open warehouses next) is never going to be anywhere near as useful as a tax, which would be bringing way more money in for a longer time. His purpose has never been to actually help, it’s just to make himself and his company look good.

Another example of not helping but having a good public image instead was Amancio Ortega - owner of the giant clothing group Inditex. He donated 310 million euros for cancer treatments and investigation, but avoided to pay 600 million in taxes in a single year through financial engineering. Imagine the extra discount in taxes that huge donation meant for him the following year.

Quit the freaking charity and giving away the crumbs: pay what you owe and let people have a good welfare state.

(via fade-steppin)

ari-no-exorcist:

starlightomatic:

africanaquarian:

africanaquarian:

apparently food inspections stopped bc of the shutdown so things bout to be real fucked up for some of us

“The Food and Drug Administration has stopped routine food safety inspections of seafood, fruits, vegetables and many other foods at high risk of contamination because of the federal government’s shutdown…”

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Most companies are probably going to continue their regular food safety procedures, but a few things you can do to reduce some personal risk:

Buy hard, solid veggies and fruits (apples, melons) or ones with rinds (bananas are probably fine). Scrub the peel/rind thoroughly with soap and water before consumption.

The more solid and dense the meat, the less likely it is for contamination to spread very far. Buy your meat in solid cuts, NOT GROUND. Especially not ground chicken rn, salmonella bad.

Cook things thoroughly. Follow guidelines for the internal temperatures meat is supposed to reach and stick to those guidelines. Use a meat thermometer. Make your steaks well done for a while.

I’d stay away from shellfish as a whole if I were you. The diseases you can get from it are some of the nastier ones. No sushi for a while, too. If you have fish, make sure it was frozen following anti-parasitic guidelines and cook thoroughly.

AVOID LEAFY GREENS. This is where we’ve been seeing the most outbreaks lately, so be very careful.

The pregnant, elderly, immunocompromised, and the very young are the ones most at risk in an outbreak. If you are in one of these groups, be extremely cautious and avoid soft cheeses and prepackaged deli meats. Check on friends and family in these groups. Report symptoms of foodborne illness to a doctor so they can report to the state health depts that are still running.

Even with these in mind, remember that most outbreaks of foodborne illness are due to things like improper cooking and storage. Stay safe out there, folks 💙

(via loveshroom)

c-rowlesblogs:

bobavader:

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Looked this up for answers and only found more questions

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I tried to do more research and now I, too, only have even more questions.

(Source: simtunes, via vikingofficial)